‘Make the Internet Great Again’ with Trump Passive Income
It is rumored that Donald Trump is planning to try his (small) hand at internet marketing.
“The first thing I’m going to do is I’m going to build a wall between the internet and spammers and the spammers are going to pay for it,” Trump said in a private interview.
“I’ve been very, very successful in politics, so I thought to myself – ‘What industry has the reputation similar to politics? That’s a niche I want to be in,” said Donald Trump. “Plus the internet is very, very bad and could really use my help.”
Like Trump Steaks and Trump University, he tried to license his name to Pat Flynn. The Donald wanted to change the name of Smart Passive Income to Trump Passive Income. This didn’t work.
“Uh, dude. This is my brand that I’ve built with authenticity and transparency. You couldn’t pay me enough to rename it,” said Flynn who reportedly turned down $2 Billion dollars for the deal.
Trump is now working on his own internet marketing brand from scratch. He says he’s hired several big names in internet business to launch his new brand: Trump Passive Income.
“I’ve hired the very best. I always hire the best because I’m the best. Believe me, I’ve hired the best internet marketers the internet has to offer. This website is going to be yuuuge! Listen, I’m going to make the Internet Great Again!”
When asked how he plans to make spammers pay for the wall, Trump responded: “I’m the greatest negotiator of all time. I will negotiate their faces off and they’ll be begging to pay for it. Believe me, I can do this, it will be easy. No one else can do what I’m going to do. It’s going to be great, the internet is going to be great again.”
This development could really disrupt the internet marketing space, so we did some surveys to see what people think of this new brand.
Here’s what we learned:
— 89% of the internet marketing establishment are worried that Trump will give internet marketing a bad name.
— 47% of the internet is concerned that Trump will actually just make the internet more racist.
— 36% of the internet is glad that there’s ‘finally an outsider who tells it like it is’
— 45% of the internet is happy that there’s a ‘real business man’ who can turn things around on the internet.
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